General Adjustments, or Amusement, or a Pain in the A**

Here are some pics of my new neighbourhood, Mahim (in northern Mumbai).

After two weeks I’m starting to adjust to the grime, the noise, the traffic, inconvenience, and the begging in the city. It’s not an easy place to live, but I think I am learning. Yesterday and today I scouted my neighbourhood for a gym and a Western supermarket. I finally found the gym today, but as for the supermarket it seems that they want to keep it like the old British system: the chemist, the baker, the tailor, the candlestick maker. There is a supermarket that’s a train stop away, but for now I’ll probably learn where all the specific places are in the name of “convenience”.

Everyone has a different and interesting take on this city. My English friend’s friend said, “Bombay….yeah, that place will really fuck you up.” An Italian friend wrote to me in an email: “I’ve heard that it will touch your soul. How do you find it there, Anne?” Then I met an Irish guy the other day who said, “People get so scared of what they think they might see. But I found there’s not reason to be scared.” And one Kiwi acquaintance who lived here for four months wrote, “It’s not bad, if you don’t mind the grime” (since everything, and I mean everything, is covered with a layer of dust…inside and outside the home). So far, no one is incorrect in what s/he has said.

Something that is really nice about the city is that I feel like everyone is speaking a version of British English that maybe my English friends’ grandparents might have spoken. Everyone in the shops asks, “How can I help you, Madame?” and greets me with “Good evening” and “Good afternoon.” The language is so formal and I really like it! Lunch is eaten out of a stainless steel tiffin, if you are unlucky you are met with an accident, you go to U.S. or to U.K. Last night a waiter served me a bottle of beer sans glass, and I looked at him and said, “Sir, do you really expect a lady to drink from a bottle?” with proper British intonation. He swiftly and apologetically returned with a glass and a napkin. (I was actually quoting one of the sketches from Little Britain... my Indian girlfriends thought that was funny.)

The annoying thing is that everyone thinks I’m a tourist so the price for what I’m buying is automatically jacked up 2 or 3 times. The other day I was getting out of a cab when the cabby lied about the price (he’d messed with the meter), after which a yelling match ensued. Finally I tore his hand from my suitcase, threw down the money in the front seat and dodged away. The good thing is that I guess I am learning to be tough: like the saying goes, “That which does not kill you will only make you stronger.”

Being one of the only white-skinned people the area is equivalent to a crime, as one Indian friend put it, because many people do make the assumption that I’ve got Lots of money to spread around. So numerous kids and people approach me in the streets or when I’m at a stoplight in a cab with a hand out, palm up. Today in the market a man came up and put his arm around me and started to talk to me. My reaction was pretty pissed off, but I didn’t make eye contact or say anything because it’s definitely not good to gain even more (unnecessary) attention.

Maybe the guy in the market thought he was being friendly, but it’s more likely that he did it because I’m a Western woman and one generalization is that we are a bunch of nymphomaniacs. The sick bastard could have thought that I wanted to be touched. So that is not easy to face every day while out and about on the streets. I’m also reminded of what it must be like to be a Muslim woman in Sweden walking about on the streets and using public transport, where many will just stare and quietly muse, “Why is she dressed like that? I don’t get it. Poor woman.”

Many (though not all) here are thinking the exact same thing about me because I am not Muslim, and probably labeling me “infidel” as well. I am aware that some are educated and/or just admiring my white skin. But it’s not easy to get used to it b-c their reaction is so entirely strong to me. I remember that many Muslim women never made eye contact with me in Sweden, and that is exactly what I have to do here. If you’re not wearing sunglasses, averting your eyes is one of the few ways to show you are not interested in garnering more attention.

I've heard that Americans and Indians as two nations do have at least one thing in common: I read that something like 60-70% of each group does not own a passport, and they have no experiences or understanding from outside of the homeland. So dealing with a "Western woman" stereotype is challenging. Needless to say my sunglasses and low, wide-brimmed hat continue to be good friends of mine on while I'm out in the streets.