My Struggle with the Idea of Status

It’s pretty hard to accept that status is such a big deal in this place. I think it's the worst thing about living here: people want to flaunt their status. It’s not like you can be working class or a pink collar teacher and be proud of it, go out to the pub with friends, discuss the world’s problems over a few pints and go home. Here, to go out for drinks (or at least seek psychotherapy through friendly banter at the pub), you almost need to be rich, because alcohol costs too much. Oh, and there are no pubs. There are places like Hard Rock Café, where waiters and clientele get up on the tables to dance to ACDC. It’s just hard to find a nice, quiet, dark pub. In fact, I haven’t found one yet. The closest thing to it is Jeffrey’s, an Australian pub…but the noise and music (and the quintessential and annoying “Man from Down Under” song in Aussie pubs) just gets on my nerves, as does the crowd.





One acquaintance of mine comes from a lot of money. Her diamond engagement ring is one of the biggest I've ever seen. One evening while we were riding in a cab together, I mentioned that there is no drinking culture in India... to which she responded: “Oh, a lot of people drink here after work!” but the thing is, it’s just her crowd who is drinking (mainly the rich). Those are the people who go to the country club and horse races.

Interestingly, I’m caught in the middle of the status strata since I’m an expat in this country and everyone believes I have a lot of money to throw around. If I go out, of course there is only a certain number of places that offer, for example, beer or Chinese food or bottled water. By default I am grouped with a class of people I wouldn’t normally associate with. Additionally I’m fair so that automatically places me into a “respected” category, like a higher caste. It's really, really sick.






But back to the taxi conversation regarding one acquaintance's comment about drinking culture. When this woman told me about her experiences studying in the U.S., she mentioned that Americans could learn a lot from Indians. I, of course, was interested in hearing more because I am very keen on cultural understanding and obviously understanding this culture. The reason, she answered, was that Americans need more spare time to enjoy life, and not work so much. Indians have so much time to socialise, she said, because all their cooking, cleaning, and dirty work is done for them…so they are able to enjoy life to the fullest.


Her ideas perplexed me mainly because she fails to see that her crowd comprises only a few percent of this city's population.... though if I had come from her background perhaps I could perhaps see her point. The thing was, there were people in the car whose parents or families were those workers. So I just told her that the biggest difference, perhaps, is that a lot of Americans (or Swedes, even more) take pride in their work…and that includes washing your car on Sundays, ironing one’s own shirts, and the act of taking a scrub brush to our toilets. It’s not a big deal, and we do not believe we are above those tasks, which are considered remedial here.





All I can say is that I really miss going out with my fellow colleagues for a beer on Fridays to discuss the workweek and how we can create change in the schools where we work. Here, going out for a beer is more of an expensive privilege and it includes hanging out with people who encourage discussing a lot of corporate bullshit. I know I was constantly annoyed by Swedish culture, but there is something to be said about a society in which almost everyone can enjoy the same privileges. Here …this idea is as foreign as much as absolutely impossible.

It’s still a pretty incredible idea to me that I am wining and dining with the privileged by night, some of who are the wealthiest people in the city, and then spending hours by day with the poorest children. My life has become this: two extremes, in every respect. The mediocrity and idea of “lagom” in Sweden is definitely gone now…it’s either everything or nothing now.